Enough is Enough!? (Part 2)

Linda paused for a second and then continued amidst our collective silence, “What about the drinking and the physical abuse when he’s stressed out? The same man who claimed to love you in one breath would find within him to hit you in the next? Remember the black eye on my daughter’s 1st birthday, when I told you all I’d missed a step and fallen? I lied!!

When is enough, enough? Is it till I am infected with HIV after he’s been with different women that I could then be released for this contract of marriage? Was the contract not broken the minute he had slept with another that was not his wife? Or would it be after he had fathered a child outside of our marriage (and that’s the one I got to find out about and not the ones I don’t know or would never know about).
I got no support for my dreams like I did for his; mine were nothing but “little hobbies” to keep me occupied and not a real career that required time and energy to concentrate and develop. I was a non person because he  expected a housewife for ever and not for a season

I am sure we had many a good times, but now I cannot remember them, I had reached my enough ladies! To you I should pray and ask God for help… I did and still do, but first I needed to accept and identify what was wrong and break out of a mind of denial, shame and hopelessness. I am fighting now for my sanity, I can not let depression step in to my life yet again after battling for years to the point where death looked so attractive that I welcomed its bleak finality twice in our marriage. No more!!! My life is worth more than being just his wife or their mother, there is more to me than that. Though you choose to call me selfish, maybe I am, but I reckon it’s time to think about myself because Enough is Enough!!”

Linda carefully wiped her eyes, picked up her bag and calmly walked out of the restaurant with a stride I had never seen her in before, some would call it a swagger.

RefinedOne (my first geisha contributor)

…so when is enough, enough for you? Each person’s threshold is different so don’t judge another too harshly. Linda is my first geishawife…..can you be my next?

I WANT THAT GUY!!!!!

“Maybe I don’t want the Tall, Dark & Handsome dude the romantic novels create in our memories from our teenage years…maybe I don’t want the zing of lust that is often confused with love….maybe I want the steady feel of a man’s strength when he holds me, the comfort of knowing that he will be there as long as I need him to be, the joy of being needed by this same strong person, the warmth of his very soul that ignites within me every dream, every passion I ever had, the knowing that we share a love for the one who is Awesome and Creator of the Universe…maybe that’s more than enough!!!
I sat here today and thought about my ‘friend’ in the last few years and I tried to describe what he gave me while I wondered what was missing. I often had this feeling that I couldn’t shake, that sometimes left me unsettled and never able to completely relax within… Then I realised it was because he gave me these things accidentally, not willingly….he gave them to me because deep down inside he was/is “That Guy” but he withheld the permission to truly enjoy them because it wasn’t given deliberately….

THAT GUY is brave enough to wear his heart on his sleeve even for a moment, a season, a lifetime, THAT GUY is not afraid to be vulnerable enough to need me, THAT GUY loves God first so he can love another just like He…….so without shame I declare “I WANT THAT GUY!!!!”